


Keep The Faith

by alliecat23784



Series: Keep The Faith [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, M/M, Smut, a bit of angst but not much because I love fluff, for the most part anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-15
Updated: 2015-08-15
Packaged: 2018-04-14 20:52:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4579647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alliecat23784/pseuds/alliecat23784
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall thinks Harry doesn't love him anymore. </p><p>Harry proves him wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Keep The Faith

**Author's Note:**

> This is something I wrote to immerse myself in something so I could forget about the goings on in my personal life for awhile. I'm not the best at writing but it helped get me away from the real world for awhile so I figured I'd share it and if anyone else needs to escape for awhile, maybe you can lose yourself in some Narry fluff and smut like I did. 
> 
> It really is just a fluffy piece with some smut. Not too much angst because there was enough of that in my own life, I didn't need anymore lol 
> 
> I should point out that this is ALL fiction. I followed along with tour dates from OTRA but in regards to Zayn leaving, I obviously wasn't there and have no idea how it went down so what I wrote is all made up in my head. 
> 
> Also Louis may come across as a bit promiscuous but again, I don't personally know him and this is all made up in my head. In reality I absolutely adore Louis.
> 
> Enjoy and please leave comments at the end if you can. I'd love to hear from you!

As Niall let himself into his London flat after the hardest leg of a tour they'd ever done, all he could think was that he was going to be sick. His entire body was exhausted which was normal after two months on the road but it never bothered Niall. He loved it. Loved the exhaustion he felt because he knew it meant he worked hard for himself and for the fans and most of all it meant another successful leg of a tour with the four best people he could ever know. 

This time was different though. He still had fun but not as much as he usually would. Everything seemed to fall apart right in front of his face and there was nothing he could do about it. He felt like he had been slapped in the face then thrown on the ground for a truck to drive over him. Zayn left. He left and never came back. No explanations, no band meeting, just gone. On a plane, back to London because of stress. Then a few days later, again with no warning, he finds out Zayn is never coming back. He was devastated. They all were. Zayn was their brother. They had barely been apart over the past four and a half years and now he was just gone. Niall hadn't known how to deal with it so he kept a brave face for everyone else. Laughing and joking like he always did when on the inside he was hurting more than he ever had in his life. 

That wasn't everything though. Louis was single for the first time in four years and it felt like he was spinning out of control. Every night there was a party. Every night he was high, drunk or both and every night he was fucking some new bird that he probably didn't even know the name of. Zayn had already left and now he was worried Louis would lose it and leave too. He was worried he'd drop the ball on the tour and press and everything else they had going on. Thankfully he didn't. He created a lot of bad press for himself but he never dropped the ball on work. He was there every night, doing his job and still appearing to enjoy it so Niall was able to relax a bit, content that another one of his best mates wasn't going to up and leave suddenly and never come back. 

As the tour went on, everything slowly started to feel better to Niall. The four of them stuck together and buckled down, getting through everything together. In the end they came out stronger for it and Niall couldn't have been more grateful. Until the current leg of the tour ended in Dubai and Harry headed off to LA again like he always does now when there's a break. That's what killed Niall. That's what had him tied up in knots and feeling like he was about to vomit as he climbed the stairs of his flat and dragged his suitcase into his spacious bedroom. The exhaustion he could take, physically and emotionally because he was definitely emotionally exhausted after Zayn leaving and pretending for so long that everything was fine, but Harry up and leaving the way he did, again, no, that he couldn't take. 

Shoving the suitcase into the corner, Niall walked over to his bed and fell onto the fluffy duvet face down. He grabbed one of his pillows and wrapped his arms around it tightly, closing his eyes and trying to stop the churning in his stomach that made him feel like he was about to lose the last meal he had eaten. He took a few deep breaths and tried to will his brain to stop thinking in overdrive but it didn't help. He couldn't stop thinking, he couldn't stop his heart from breaking. 

Not many people knew. Only their families and inner circle knew that Harry and Niall were a couple. In fact, they'd been a couple for a lot longer than anyone would think. If the media and fans found out just how long they'd been together, they'd be shocked. They fell in love after X-Factor. Once Simon signed them and they began furiously working on Up All Night, they fell in love along the way and it was at the beginning of 2012 after the first album had just been released a couple months prior that they confided their feelings for each other and there was no going back after that. 

Everything had been going great too. They had their ups and downs. Their biggest challenge was hiding their relationship. It hurt and sometimes one or both of them would break down crying while alone in a hotel room far from home. They always had each other though. They were always there to comfort each other and in the end it was all worth it. Being together and in love was worth the pain of having to hide. 

Then there was Larry Stylinson. While Niall and Harry were falling in love and getting together, Larry was picking up steam until a huge part of the fanbase was convinced Harry and Louis were a couple. Niall and Harry found it hilarious and even embraced it because with the fans so focused on Louis and Harry's bromance, it kept people from figuring out how close they actually were. Then Niall kept seeing how upset Eleanor was all the time and he started going online, reading everything the fans said, watching interviews to see what they were seeing from Harry and Louis. He got jealous, really jealous and almost had himself convinced that Larry might be real until one night when they were in America promoting Take Me Home and Niall had been taken out by a group of vicious paps desperate for pictures of the band and willing to do anything they had to to get them. Publicly Harry had remained calm. It was Zayn who lost it and verbally attacked the paps for knocking Niall onto the ground. When they got to the hotel though, and Harry had let himself into Niall's hotel room after everyone had settled in for the night, he saw something in Harry's eyes he'd never seen before. He was seething, the green of his eyes dulled significantly by the anger that was sitting there. He had picked up the first thing he could get his hands on when he walked into the room, which unfortunately had been Niall's mobile, and flung it across the room where it smashed against the wall and broke into a million pieces.

“If they EVER touch you again, EVER, I will personally take their expensive little cameras and stick them so far up their arses they'll come out their throats.” Harry had spat out, in a low, threatening voice. 

Niall hadn't been able to move. He had sat on the bed with his mouth hanging open as Harry stalked around the room, his face contorted and his eyes flashing with anger. Niall had never seen him get angry before, let alone to that capacity. He hadn't been afraid though, just in awe. He knew Harry would never hurt him so he allowed Harry to keep pacing and getting all the anger out because if he hadn't, he might have exploded. 

It had taken fifteen minutes of screaming and knocking things over before Niall had seen Harry's shoulders sink and his whole body deflate. He had turned to Niall with such a broken expression on his face that it took his breath away.

“I'm a shit boyfriend. A fucking shit excuse for a boyfriend. They knocked you to the ground and I didn't stop them. I should have been beside you, holding on to you so they couldn't get to you. I'm bigger than you. I should have protected you.” Harry had sobbed as he sunk down in front of Niall who was still sitting on the bed. Niall had simply fallen down onto the floor on his knees next to Harry and hugged him tight, whispering in his ear and kissing all over his face until he calmed down. 

That was the night he realized just how much Harry loved him and how silly he was to buy into all the internet gossip and Eleanor's insecurities about Louis and Harry. He decided to never tell Harry about those insecurities, not wanting to hurt him and mess things up between them. Niall had vowed to never be insecure again and to never go online and buy into all that crap that was posted there. 

That was also the night Niall had turned into a complete sap and thought of sex as love making. He couldn't help it. Harry had wrapped his body around Niall's that night and Niall swears he could feel how much Harry loved him with every touch of Harry's fingers on his skin and every thrust inside his body. It was no longer fucking to Niall after that. It was love making and he didn't give a fuck how sappy it was. 

So yeah, Harry and Niall had their ups and downs but they always remained true to one another and always got stronger after every crisis they may have faced. 

The beginning of 2014 meant two years together for Niall and Harry and they both couldn't be happier. Not only was their relationship not slowing down or getting stale, it was getting better and hotter as each day passed by. Niall had figured once they'd been together for awhile things might slow down a bit but they hadn't. They were both still insanely in love with each other and the sex, that just kept getting better every time they did it. For Niall, how could it not? Over the two years of their relationship Harry had physically grown up a lot. He had hit almost six feet, his upper body had completely filled out and toned up and the tattoos, Christ those were going to kill Niall. He spent hours in bed with Harry, tracing them with his fingers and his tongue and bringing Harry to orgasm after orgasm until neither one of them could even move to get up and shower. 

Life was good, it was great, it was bloody fucking fantastic until every time they had a break, Harry took off to LA. At first Niall thought nothing of it. They spent months on end together while on tour so if they spent a week or two apart while on break it wasn't a big deal. It was probably good for their relationship. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that. Niall had even managed to ignore the pang in his chest and twisty feeling in his gut when Harry had purchased a house in LA. It didn't mean anything. He simply wanted somewhere to stay while there instead of being in yet another hotel. It had hurt a bit that Harry hadn't even asked Niall's opinion on it but he didn't want to be the clingy, insecure boyfriend so he let it go and life continued on pretty much like normal.

The beginning of 2015 had come and gone and that meant three years together for Niall and Harry. Harry was his usual romantic self, spoiling Niall as he always did and fucking him into the mattress so tenderly it was like it was their first time again. It was perfect. It continued to be perfect even after Zayn left. They had each other and had spent nights curled up around each other during the tour, comforting each other and sharing their fears about what would happen to the band without Zayn. Neither one of them wanted One Direction to end, they loved performing, they loved the fast pace, and they didn't mind that they didn't get a whole lot of time off. 

Everything turned out to be fine though. Despite Zayn leaving and Louis finding out what it was like to no longer be monogamous, the band stayed together and had become stronger than ever. Niall had begun to calm down and think things were going back to normal until the leg ended and Harry kissed him goodbye and took off for LA without even talking to him about it. Niall tried to be okay with it, he really did, but what hope did they realistically have if they couldn't even live in the same city. The band would eventually end one day and Niall didn't know about Harry, but he had intended to still be together with him. Harry was it for him. He didn't want anyone else. Could never love anyone the way he loved Harry. How could it work though? Harry clearly had no use for London anymore and in the back of his mind, Niall had begun to wonder if he had any use for him anymore. Was Harry simply outgrowing him and moving on to his friends in LA and forgetting about everything he had in London, in England? He had so many friends here, his family was all here, Niall was here. Did that not matter anymore?

Now, as Niall lay here on his cold, empty bed feeling sick because his boyfriend has left yet again, a new thought popped into his head. Something he had never once considered before. Had Harry found someone new in LA? Was that why he was always going there on break? Did he buy a house there for his new lover to live in? 

Niall had never once doubted Harry. Never had a reason to. Even when he first started going to LA it never crossed Niall's mind. Harry just wouldn't cheat. He was loyal and he had too much respect for Niall and for relationships to step out on Niall that way. No, Harry would never move on with someone else until he spoke to Niall and ended things first. 

Niall was at his wits end now though. After how hard things had been on this leg of the tour, he never expected Harry would head off to LA again. Not this time. He did though and now Niall was left thinking the worst of Harry. He didn't want to. It broke his heart and made it hard to breathe but at this point what else could Niall think? There couldn't be any other reason for Harry to always leave. There just couldn't.

Just the mere thought of Harry cheating was enough to send the bile he's been fighting all day, up his throat and he jumped up from his bed and stumbled into his ensuite about half a second before he was vomiting up his entire lunch.

 

***************************

After cleaning himself up and brushing his teeth, Niall had stripped his clothes off and gotten into his bed, completely exhausted and unable to stay away or function any longer. He woke up twelve hours later feeling not much better and having to piss like he'd just had five pints. 

When he's finished in the bathroom he wanders back out into his bedroom and sighs when he spots his mobile on his bedside table. He had turned it off last night and he knew he should turn it back on again now but he couldn't. He knew he'd have texts from Harry from LA, probably phone calls to and he didn't want to see them or hear Harry's voice. He was in too much pain right now and struggling to keep it together.

So he does what every mature twenty-one year man would do. He climbs back into bed with his remote control for the telly and completely ignores his phone. Any number of people besides Harry could be trying to reach him. His mum, da, brother, his PA, his friends, but Niall didn't care. He couldn't handle seeing Harry's name appearing on his screen so he took the easy way out and by the end of the day he was still in his bed, surrounded by empty food containers and bottles of beer when his flat door slammed downstairs and he froze, trying to think of who had a key, if anybody had a key. 

“Niall?” Louis' shrill voice sounded around the downstairs of Niall's flat and Niall sighed in relief. It wasn't someone breaking in and coming to murder him. It was just Louis. 

“I'm up here” Niall calls out, because he knows Louis well enough to know he'd check every room anyway so he might as well get it over with and let Louis know where he is.

“Oh for fucks sake,” Louis exclaims when he appears in Niall's doorway. “Are you comfortable then? Got everything you need?”

Niall glares at Louis, not at all pleased with his snarky attitude “Yeah, I fucking do. Got a problem with it?”

Louis' eyes widen slightly and his eyebrows raise up at Niall's attitude “I see your mobile there on the table. Are you ignoring us all then? Or are you screening your calls and only ignoring Harry, Liam and I?”

“I'm not screening anything,” Niall pouts “It hasn't been turned on since I got off the plane from Dubai.”

“It hasn't been- Niall have you gone fucking mental? Do you have any idea the state Harry is in right now? He hasn't been able to reach you. Finally he begged me to come here, convinced you got drunk and fell over, smacked your head off the table and cracked it open.” Louis' tone is incredulous but his eyes are shrewd as they study Niall.

Niall scoffed “He's in a state is he? Clearly not in big enough of one to come here himself.”

Louis' jaw drops open and his laugh is disbelieving “He's at the goddamn airport right now, waiting for his flight to board but it's a twelve hour flight Niall and he didn't want to get on it without knowing something, without knowing if you were alive or dead. You can understand not wanting to be incommunicado for twelve hours when you're worried sick about your boyfriend can't you?”

Niall swallowed a few times and folded his arms across his chest. He was not going to feel guilty about this, he wasn't. He had every right to ignore Harry. Harry was the one gallivanting all over LA with god knows who, so no, he wasn't going to feel guilty.

“Well you can call Harry yourself and tell him I'm alive so he doesn't need to come here.” Niall says flatly.

Louis throws his arms up in the air and swats at empty food containers so he can find a spot to sit on the bed “Have you hit your head then? Because it's like you don't know Harry at all. Of course he's still going to come. You've stopped answering his texts and calls. He's worried and he won't feel better until you're right in front of him and he can touch you.”

“Maybe I don't know Harry at all. Not anymore.” Niall shouts at Louis then bites down on his bottom lip to keep from crying.

Louis stays quiet for a moment after that statement. He's just staring at Niall and Niall can practically see the wheels spinning in his head as he tried to figure out what was going on. Then Louis was moving. He was propping himself up against the headboard right next to Niall and pulling one of Niall's arms away from his chest so he could hold his hand. “I think you better tell me what's going on. I'll text Harry so he knows you're okay and then you can tell me what's wrong yeah?”

Niall nods his head slowly, letting Louis know to go ahead. He was so angry at Harry right now but he couldn't just let him go on thinking he was seriously hurt or worse. Also, talking to Louis wouldn't be a bad idea. He couldn't keep this to himself without it eating away at him and there were only a few people in the world who knew just how serious Niall and Harry were. Louis was one of them. 

“Alright. I told him you're okay but not to call me right now because I'm busy. He's no doubt still freaking out and wanting to know why you're not answering but at least he knows you're not dead.” Louis tosses his phone onto the bed and turns his head so he's completely focused on Niall.

“Yeah. Thanks. I just- I can't talk to him right now. Probably won't want to talk to him when he gets here but I figure between flight and car time he'll be here in thirteen or fourteen hours so I guess I better get myself ready.” Niall shrugs his shoulders, keeping his head down so he doesn't have to look at Louis. 

“I asked Harry if you could be ignoring him, if he'd done something to piss you off. He swears he didn't. That everything is fine between you two. Obviously our Harry is as oblivious as ever.” Louis chuckled “What's he done then?”

Niall sighs as he lifts his legs up to his chest, resting his chin on his knees and tracing over the scar on his knee with his fingers “Have you noticed that for the past year and a half Harry always goes to LA when we have a break?”

Louis scrunches up his nose and squints his eyes as he thinks about it for a moment “Can't say I have noticed. Even when we're all in London when we're on break we rarely keep track of each other. Too many family members and old friends to see.”

Niall nods in understanding because Louis is right. They have other friends besides each other so when they get a break they spend time with them as well as family. They spend months together on tour so it doesn't make sense to spend breaks together and not with people they rarely see anymore.

“It's starting to bother me. It didn't at first. I figured, I get him on tour so if he wants to go see friends in LA then fine. Somewhere along the line it started bothering me though. I started wanting him to come home with me. I started wanting to just be Niall on break, living with his boyfriend and doing normal, domestic things. He always leaves though and I don't know when it happened but I started feeling like I wasn't good enough anymore. Like maybe he doesn't love me anymore. This time was the last straw for me. After what we went through with Zayn leaving I thought he'd want to come home and be with me but I was wrong. I guess London just isn't home to him anymore. I don't know. Do you think I'm overreacting?” Niall asks Louis after pouring his heart out about what's bothering him.

Louis stays quiet at first, taking in everything Niall has told him before he gives his answer “I wouldn't say you're overreacting per se. I mean, I get that he's your boyfriend and he shouldn't be fucking off to LA alone all the time. I definitely agree with you there. Have you even talked to him about it though? Because you know Harry is awfully thick sometimes. He probably has no idea how you feel or even that he's being stupid.”

“I haven't talked to him about it. I don't want to be that clingy, nagging boyfriend. I'm not in charge of him. He can go out whenever he wants I just- I wish he wanted to come home. It makes me feel like, if we weren't in a band and he didn't have to be on tour with me, would we even be together? Would he want to be with me?” Niall voices his hurt and insecurities and nearly sobs when Louis wraps an arm around him for comfort.

“Don't be stupid Niall. You'd be together, of course you would. You're brilliant together and you're both mad for each other. Completely mad.” Louis tries to reassure him.

“Is he though? Mad for me? Because the only reason I can think of that he'd keep going to LA is because he-he met someone new.” Niall's voice breaks on those last few words and he can feel his hot tears hit the bare skin on his legs.

“Niall!” Louis sounds completely shocked, scandalized even “You don't believe that for a second do you? You know Harry. You know he'd never do that. You're his fucking world mate. Don't tell me you can't see that? He's so fucking gone for you, even after three years, that it's sickening sometimes.”

“I don't know anything Louis!” Niall practically wails as the tears keep coming faster and he chokes on his own sobs.

“Well I do.” Louis says fiercely “And there's no way I'd ever believe Harry is cheating. You'd have to show me a video of him mid fuck for me to believe it and even then I'd have the video examined for tampering.”

“Louis! Why else would he be going there instead of here all the time? I don't want to think Harry is leaving me for someone else but I'm running out of things to think here. If you have any ideas feel free to share.” Niall sounds desperate now, he knows he does.

“I don't know why he goes to LA! It's not to cheat on you though. I'm bloody well sure of that. The sun fucking shines out of your arse as far as Harry's concerned.” Louis' voice is getting higher now and the two of them are only a minute away from a shouting match.

“Louis,” Niall takes a deep breath, trying to calm down before they start fighting “I just don't know. Me head is so messed up. I just want to sleep. I'm so mentally exhausted after these last few months and I just- can I please sleep?”

Louis looks like he wants to keep arguing but he snaps his mouth shut and sighs instead “Fine but Harry will be coming straight here after his plane lands. You know that. You better still be here and you better talk to him. Ask him what's up. Don't let it fester until the two of you end up miserable and hating each other.”

“I'm not gonna run Louis. I'm staying right here and if that means he breaks up with me when he gets here then I've got to face it like a man and not cowar like a little boy in the corner.” Niall says with some conviction. He knows that's what he has to do but the fact that his heart feels like it's being ripped out of his chest doesn't make it easy. He'd like to hide somewhere because then Harry can't break up with him if he can't find him but he wouldn't do that. He was taught to be strong and face his problems head on and that's what he was going to do, even if it broke him. 

 

*************************************

Niall fell asleep not long after Louis left and he slept another twelve hours, waking up when it was morning again and dragging himself out of bed for a shower. Harry would no doubt be here soon and he wasn't going to face him looking like a slob. If Harry wanted to let him go then he was going to see exactly what he was letting go of. Niall isn't arrogant but he knows he's not ugly and more importantly he knows he's a good person. He's got a lot of love to give someone and if Harry didn't want that love anymore then Niall could give it to someone else. He wanted Harry to see that before he turned and walked away. 

After his shower he put on a pair of his black skinny jeans with rips in the knees and a plain white t-shirt then headed downstairs, barefoot and his hair still wet to make himself some breakfast. It's when he's standing at his large kitchen window and looking out on the bright sunny day with a cup of coffee in his hands that he hears his flat door open and close. He tenses up immediately and waits for Harry to find him. It was probably a bit dramatic but he felt like he was waiting for his executioner. Every instinct told him to run for his life but he couldn't. He stayed right where he was and as soon as Harry entered the room he squared his shoulders and turned around to face him. 

“Niall?” Harry stopped mid stride with a confused look on his face. He seemed to be coming over to hug Niall but something on Niall's face must have stopped him. Probably the pain that was all over it because if Niall knew one thing for sure it was that he wasn't an actor. There's no way he was hiding his emotions right now. 

“Harry,” He said in a surprisingly steady voice “As you can see I'm alive and well. Haven't cracked my head open.”

“I can see that.” Harry nods his head slowly then stands up straight, sliding his hands into the pockets of his too tight skinny jeans some how. “What's going on Niall? Why have you been ignoring me? Louis said your phone is turned off. If something is bothering you, and you need space, you never shut me out. You always let me in and I'm always there.”

“Hard to do that when you're the one that's bothering me isn't it?” Niall dives right in. No need to prolong this. He didn't know how long he'd be able to stay on his own two feet or keep from crying.

“What have I done?” Harry's voice is pleading and Niall can see the look of pain that washed over his face when he'd said Harry was the one bothering him. It made things even more confusing for Niall, made him doubt everything he was thinking. 

Niall walks over to the counter and puts his coffee mug down. His hands are shaking too much right now and gripping the counter seems like it might be a good idea. It would help hold him up.

“I can't-” Niall starts then stops, not knowing how to word what he wants to say “Why haven't you just left me? If you're going to leave anyway, what are you waiting for?”

“What?” Harry's eyes nearly pop out of his head as he stares at Niall in disbelief “What the bloody hell are you talking about?”

Niall shakes his head and wipes a shaking hand over the stubble on his chin “Don't Harry. Don't make this harder. You keep going to LA. I don't think you've ever even asked me to go with you. For a year and a half you've been doing it now and I can't pretend it doesn't bother me anymore. Obviously you've got something in LA that you want more than me so I'm asking you to stop dragging things out and just end things already. You can't have both, not with me. I'm not that type of guy.”

Harry's breathing picks up and the very moment Niall makes eye contact with him, he knows he's made a mistake. A terrible, terrible mistake. It's written all over Harry's face. The pain in his eyes and the shattered look say it all. That, and the betrayal. There's betrayal in his eyes as well and once again, Niall feels like he's going to be sick.

“You think I'm- you think-” Harry can't even get the words out he's shaking so bad “You think I'm cheating on you? With someone in LA?”

Niall stares at Harry, a look of horror on his face. He was wrong, so very, very wrong. It's written all over Harry's face because Harry is an even worse actor than Niall. 

“Harry,” He chokes out, his head beginning to spin “What- what else was I supposed to think?”

“You're supposed to trust me,” Harry cries out. Hot tears are flowing down his cheeks now and he's not even bothering to try and hide it “You're supposed to be in love with me. You're supposed to come talk to me when something is bothering you. You're not supposed to think- oh my god, I can't fucking believe this.”

“I'm sorry,” Niall sobs “Harry, I'm sorry.”

“You're sorry?” Harry spits out, his voice rising and a wild look at the forefront in his eyes. He's getting hysterical now and Niall can't blame him “I'm in love with you Niall. I've been in love with you since I was seventeen. You're the only person who has ever touched me, the only one I've ever been with and the thought of being with anyone else, of letting anyone else touch me, makes me sick to my stomach. How could you think I'd cheat on you? How could you?”

Niall is crying now too. Hysterical, just like Harry. How could he, is right? He knows Harry. He fucking knows him. How could he let his mind go there? Of course Harry wouldn't cheat, he knows that, he does, so why did he let his mind spin out of control like that? Why did he let his mind go there? 

“Harry,” Niall tries to take a deep breath, tries to regulate his breathing before he hyperventilates but he's sobbing so hard now, it's a struggle to get the words out “I'm sorry. I-I-”

“No,” Harry shakes his head “Whatever you have to say, I don't want to hear it right now. Just- I can't.”

“Harry no, you have to let me explain” Niall takes a few steps toward Harry, pleading with him.

“Don't Niall. Don't come near me. I-I need to leave. I have to go before I say something I can't take back.” Harry says, then spins around and takes off out of the kitchen.

“Harry!!” Niall calls out, his voice loud as it reverberates around his empty flat. He somehow makes his legs work and starts to go after Harry only to stop and flinch as the front door slammed shut behind Harry.

The last thought Niall had before he threw up his breakfast all over the floor was that the slamming door might very well also be the door slamming on his relationship with Harry.

 

*****************************

It took awhile for Niall to calm down and when he did he just felt numb. He retreated back to his bed, stripping to his boxers and climbed in, reaching for his phone on the bedside table. When he turns it on, he immediately gets a ton of notifications from all the calls and messages he's missed the past two days but he ignores them and goes straight to Louis' contact. He quickly sends a text to let him know things went badly and asked him to please find Harry before something bad happened. He gets an immediate reply of two words, on it, and nods because he knows Louis is like a dog with a bone. If Harry doesn't go to him he'll at least find him and make sure he's okay. It takes a couple hours but Niall finally gets a text from Louis saying that Grimmy had called Louis and told him Harry was at his flat, currently working his way through a bottle of wine.

“Thanks Lou” Niall had texted back “At least he's safe with Nick.”

“He is. I'd rather not admit it, but he is. Nick won't let him leave in this state either so try to keep calm okay? I'll let you know if anything happens.” Louis promises. 

After that, Niall turned off all the lights, pulled the duvet over his head, and cried. Loud, gut wrenching sobs that wracked his whole body and left him struggling for breath. He didn't try to stop it though. His heart was still breaking, only now it wasn't Harry's fault, it was his own.

 

**************************************

 

Niall didn't want to see anyone so when Liam showed up the next day and kept ringing the buzzer until Niall finally had to get up to answer it, he let out a string of curse words that would surely make his Da proud. 

“Sorry Ni,” Liam grimaces when Niall flings the door open then walks off, back upstairs to his bed. Liam followed him, standing in the doorway of Niall's bedroom as Niall climbed back in his bed “I would have given you your space, you know I would but...Harry called me this morning and he made me promise to come make sure you were okay. I- well you know me. I don't break my promises.”

“Harry- he called you?” Niall asked hesitantly.

Liam nodded, his big brown eyes full of sadness and concern for his friend “He sounded like shit, I'm not gonna lie Niall. I don't have a bloody clue what's happening right now but I can see you're not any better off than him. Anyway, he's really worried about you and made me promise to stay here with you until I'm sure you're alright.”

Niall's face crumpled as the guilt that was eating him alive got even worse. He hurt Harry. Hurt him so badly yet, here he was, still making sure Niall was okay “I don't deserve him Li.”

“Niall,” Liam steps into the room and takes his boots off before climbing onto the bed “I'm not sure why you'd say that and I don't know if it's true or not but what I do know is that Harry loves you mate. Whether or not you deserve it is irrelevant. He loves you and that's his choice. So whatever you've done or whatever he's done, you're going to get through it. Hold on to that yeah?”

“I don't know Li.” Niall sniffed, his nose was blocked up from crying so much “I hurt him pretty badly. I don't know how we come back from it.”

“You'll come back from it. Whatever happened hasn't changed how much he loves you. He begged me to come here today. He's so gone for you mate, even after three years together nothing is slowing down with you two. Don't give up. Give him time to cool off, then talk it out. Remember last year when Soph and I broke up for a bit? That's how we found our way back. We talked it out. I asked her to come out on tour and we spent one of our off days holed up in my hotel room hashing it out. There was a lot of screaming and a lot of crying but by the time the sun set we had worked through some major issues and were committed to each other again. Obviously we're still strong today so don't give up. Okay? Keep the faith and all that.” Liam finishes his pep talk off with a little grin and Niall can't help but laugh a little.

“Did you just quote Bon Jovi at me?” 

“Yes. Yes I did Niall. I can sing it for you if you like?” Liam's eyes crinkle around the edges as he smiles fondly at Niall and it oddly makes Niall feel a little better. It was familiar and Niall really needed familiar to keep him anchored right now.

“Think I'll pass. You're a great singer Li but don't touch Jon Bon Jovi yeah?” Niall jokes.

“Yeah yeah,” Liam holds his hands up in surrender “Don't really have a rocker voice anyway do I? You and Harry pull that off much better. I got you to laugh a bit though, that's the main thing.”

“Thanks for coming over. I'm okay though. I'm not gonna do anything stupid or whatever. I'm just gonna hang out here until Harry is ready to talk to me. If he ever is.” Niall says sadly. He's trying his best to stay calm and not let fear take over but the truth is, he's really, really scared that Harry won't be able to forgive him for doubting him. 

“He'll talk to you Niall” Liam rolls his eyes “After the way he begged me to come check on you, I think it's safe to say he'll be back. Just let him clear his head yeah? It'll be fine. I'm sure of it.”

Niall nods and hugs his knees to his chest for comfort “I hope you're right Li.”

 

****************************

 

Liam ended up staying for a day. Niall admitted he didn't want to be alone and Liam was happy to be lazy with him, eating junk food and playing video games. After Liam finally went home to his girlfriend, Niall turned down all the lights and curled up on the couch in front of the telly with a film playing that he really wasn't paying attention to. He must have fallen asleep there because the next thing he knew he was jolting awake from the feeling of fingers brushing through his hair and over his cheek.

“Liam?” Niall groaned, his voice groggy “Did you forget somethin'”

“It's me love” Harry's voice shocks him out of his groggy state and he's sitting up quickly on the couch.

“Harry? You're back. When did you come back?” Niall blinks rapidly and runs a hand over his face to try and wake up fully. 

“Came in about fifteen minutes ago. Did you sleep here last night?” Harry sits down on the coffee table in front of the couch, his eyes roaming over Niall's tired face.

“Last night? It's morning already? I was watching telly when Liam left. I guess I fell asleep here.” Niall shouldn't be shocked he slept for several more hours. Between tour exhaustion, jet lag, and now the emotional stuff he was going through, it's a wonder he doesn't sleep for a month straight. He probably would if he didn't have to wake up to piss.

Harry nods his head slowly, his hand coming up to tuck a piece of hair behind his ear “I made coffee. It's there on the side table.”

Niall whips his head around to look at the little table sitting next to his couch and sure enough there's a steaming cup of coffee waiting for him “Harry...you didn't have to do that.”

“I always make you coffee” Harry says with a shrug. 

“I'm sorry,” Niall blurts out, not knowing if they should jump right into talking or if there was some sort of protocol for this type of thing “I never meant to hurt you Harry. Would never never never mean to hurt you.”

“I know” Harry's voice is just barely above a whisper. He's staring down at his hands in his lap and playing with his rings “I know that Niall, I do.”

Niall blows out a breath and sits up on the couch a bit more, reaching for the coffee cup on the table if for no other reason than to keep his hands occupied since all he wanted was to lunge at Harry and hold him. “I still hurt you though. I know I did and I hate meself for it.”

“Don't,” Harry says, a bit too loudly as he lifts his eyes from his lap to meet Niall's “Don't hate yourself. I hurt you too. I thought about this a lot after I woke up from a massive hangover at Grimmy's. Put a serious dent in his wine collection, should probably make sure I replenish that for him...anyway, not the point. The point is, I spent the whole day in bed, nursing that hangover and thinking about everything carefully. Then I made Grim listen to it all so I could say it out loud and hear it. He thinks I'm stupid. Well intentioned, but stupid.”

“I don't understand.” Niall says quietly.

Harry nods and runs his long fingers through his hair “He pointed out that if I were his boyfriend and I kept traipsing off to the land of pretty stars without him, he'd probably think the same things you did. Land of pretty stars were his words by the way, not mine.”

Niall snorts lightly “I kinda figured that Harry.”

“Yeah so, I'm not blameless in this Niall. I realize that. The truth is, I let myself get caught up in what I was doing in LA, it became all I could focus on when we got time off. I didn't stop to think of what you might be thinking. I'm so sorry for that Niall. I'm so sorry for making you believe I didn't love you anymore.” Harry's voice is thick with tears and Niall has to bite down on his lip to keep from becoming too emotional himself. 

“What were you doing in LA?” Niall asks quietly. He believes Harry didn't find someone else but he still needs to know what kept Harry from him all those times.

Harry leans forward from where he's sitting on the coffee table and reaches out with one of his large hands to take the coffee cup from Niall's hands. He places it on the table next to him then he engulfs one of Niall's hands in both of his own. He clasps Niall's fingers with his left hand while his right hand slides gently up along his wrist where his thumb brushes over Niall's pulse point and sneaks up under the bracelets Niall always wears.

“I was going because of the house I bought there. It was meant to be a surprise for you which is why I didn't tell you anything, only that I bought a house, not what I was doing with it.” Harry explains. 

Niall's eyes widen slightly and he can feel his pulse quicken under Harry's touch. Harry can feel it to. Niall can tell because the thumb that was lightly brushing over his wrist pushed down slightly over his pulse point to feel the quickening thump. “What do you mean a surprise?”

“Well,” Harry starts slowly “I've been thinking about the future quite a bit. Can't stop thinking about it really. The more I fall in love with you, the more it's on my mind. It was a bit of a fluke that I bought the house in LA. I was there visiting Jeff and I went with him because he was looking at property. I fell in love with one of the ones he looked at. The property is massive and has tons of privacy. The house was terrible though. The decor was all wrong, not me or you at all. Before I knew it, I was buying it and telling an architect what I envisioned for the house. He drew up plans for me based on what I told him and they were perfect. So perfect Niall. He told me it was a major renovation though and it would take a long time. That's probably when I should have stopped and realized I couldn't keep this as a surprise for you. If I had thought about it at all I would have realized it would keep me in LA a lot but I was too excited to think of anything else.”

Niall stares at Harry in awe for a moment, the excitement he has about this house is practically oozing from his veins and it makes Niall want to hear the rest of the story.

“The whole house needed to be gutted basically, walls moved and torn down completely, a section added. It turned out to be an even more massive renovation than I realized and I really want this to be perfect so I've been insisting on being there as much as I can to oversee things and make sure it's being done right. There were a few snags along the way which is why it's a year and a half later and it's still not done but it's almost done. Another week to go maybe and that's it. Just the finishing touches now. The minute it was ready I was going to call you and have you come over and spend some time before we start the European leg of the tour. That's when you stopped answering my texts and phone calls and I rushed back here terrified of what might be happening.”

Niall cringed at Harry's words. Harry had been planning a surprise for him and he's here in London ignoring him and losing his mind thinking that Harry had found someone else “I'm sorry,” He whispered “I'm an idiot Harry.”

“Shh” Harry murmurs “Let's not beat up on ourselves. We were both idiots really. We can share the blame equally as far as I'm concerned.”

Niall huffs, completely taken aback by Harry's generosity “Not really Harry. You were trying to surprise me with something and I accused you of cheating on me. I think I'm the only idiot here.”

“Baby,” Harry begins, removing one of his hands from Niall's and reaching up to cup his cheek “I was so angry at first but when I calmed down and thought about it, I didn't believe that for a minute. I don't believe you thought I was cheating on you, not deep down. I think you got scared and you started obsessing until all you could see was the worst case scenario. You were freaking out and if you'd stopped and calmed down you probably would have laughed at yourself for even entertaining the thought of cheating in your head.”

“Fuck,” Niall barks out a laugh “You know me so fucking well. Better than I know meself. It's like you're inside me head.”

“I have loved you since we were eighteen” Harry sings softly before he and Niall both break into laughter “Well, technically I was seventeen but I was only a few weeks from turning eighteen and you were eighteen so...”

“Yeah,” Niall laughs “Remember when Ed sang that song for us for the first time? Told us we inspired it? You took your headscarf off and cried into it.”

“Yep,” Harry nods, a fond smile on his face “Then when the fans heard it they said it had to be about Larry Stylinson and Louis kept shouting in green rooms that, when I was eighteen he was twenty so how would that even work?”

“Oh god,” Niall shakes his head “I never minded the fans thought that ya know. I know it takes a toll on you and Lou sometimes but it allows us to have things just for us that nobody knows about. Only the five of us and Ed know what that song is truly about. Makes it more special, at least for me.”

“Me to,” Harry smiles widely at Niall “There are Narry fans out there but I think it's just all a bit of fun for them. They don't seem to be hard core like Larry fans. Whenever I'm papped out with one of my female friends they assume she's my beard because of Louis. Whenever you're out with a woman, they assume you're actually fucking her. They never say they're beards for Narry.”

“If they only knew what's really been going on this whole time.” Niall shakes his head. 

“Do you ever regret keeping us a secret?” Harry asks, green eyes staring straight into Niall's blue ones.

“I wouldn't say regret no. There's plenty of times I want to tell the whole world you're mine, not Louis' or one of the many women they think you're with but on the other hand I really like that not many people know about us. I like that it's just for us and our close friends and family. There'd be so much drama if we were out as a couple. I hate drama. We have enough of that when we don't even do anything. At the end of the day I just want to be yours and for you to be mine. The important people to us know. That's okay with me.”

“I agree baby. I love you. So much.” Harry leans forward and kisses Niall's lips, his hand still cupping Niall's cheek. 

“I love you too,” Niall murmurs against Harry's lips “We got a bit off track though. I want to know what this house in LA has to do with me?”

“It has to do with you because the house is for us, for our future. Obviously we can use it now, whenever we want, but I had our future in mind when I bought it and renovated it.” Harry hasn't really moved back and as he speaks each word his lips brush across Niall's own lips, making him shiver.

“Care to elaborate?” Niall moves back a little, partly to get away from the distraction of Harry's lips and partly so he can look into his boyfriends eyes without being cross eyed.

Harry blushes a little and smiles so sweetly at Niall that he wants to melt but he's also intrigued because Harry doesn't blush, hardly ever.

“Well you know we both said that if the band ever ended or took a break we'd still want to stay in the music business. A lot of that business happens in LA and I wanted a place for us for when we're there. Sometimes we might only be there for a few days but there are times we may stay for a month or two at a time and I was thinking like, in the future if we have any kids, it would be a good idea to have a place to go that we can call home and have all the privacy we need to protect our family.” Harry tells Niall with a shy, crooked smile on his face.

Niall is in complete shock but he doesn't let that stop him from talking “Harry Styles! Are you asking me to be your baby daddy?”

Harry laughs loudly, his teeth on full display and his eyes all squinty. It's the laugh he usually tries to contain in public because it can be a bit much and the lads always tease him saying it's his ugly laugh but Niall loves it, adores it really because it's Harry. It's Harry being one hundred percent himself. It's Harry when he's really, truly happy about something and Niall wouldn't have him any other way.

“I guess I am Niall. I don't even care how we do it. We can adopt or find a surrogate and all our kids can have your genes, I don't care. I want 'em though. I want lots of babies, with you.” Harry stares intensely into Niall's eyes when he speaks and Niall thinks maybe he's never been as in love with Harry as he is right now.

“Do ya now?” Niall teases him “Were ya gonna tell me or steal me sperm in a cup next time ya get me off?”

“That was my plan if you said no.” Harry quips and Niall is sent into a fit of laughter, falling back against the cushions of the couch and throwing his head back.

“You're ridiculous,” Niall tells him through his laughter “I can't believe this.”

“You're happy though? It's a good surprise? I wasn't completely off base?” Harry asks anxiously.

“You fool! Obviously you weren't off base. I've told you before I want to have kids someday. We've talked about it.” Niall scoffs at Harry.

“Yeaaaahhhhhh but we've never actually talked about kids together. Just said we want them someday.” Harry pouts “So...what do you think about my surprise then?”

Niall looks at Harry, an overwhelming feeling of love in his heart, threatening to bubble over and send him into a fit of tears “I think it's the best fucking surprise I've ever gotten. I can't wait to see it. I can't wait to see what you planned for it. I have no doubt it'll be brilliant. Do you have pics?”

“Tons but you're not seeing them. I want the first time you see it to be in person.” Harry grins at Niall.

Niall eyes Harry carefully then huffs dramatically “I suppose I can wait but you're going to have to kiss me properly. I haven't had a proper kiss for days.”

“Does that mean we're okay then?” Harry sits up straight and looks at Niall with wide hopeful eyes.

“Harry,” Niall rolls his eyes and reaches out to grab onto Harry's t-shirt with his fingers. He tugs hard and Harry ends up sliding off the coffee table and over into Niall's lap in an uncoordinated mess “For fuck's sake babe. We're good. We're so fuckin' good. Now get yer goddamn mouth on mine will ya?”

“Yeah,” Harry breathes out, his eyes becoming darker with lust. Niall's not surprised. He has a filthy mouth at the best of times and he knows it's a big turn on for Harry “Yeah, I think I can do that.”

“Less thinkin' and more action will ya?” Niall mutters as his hands travel down Harry's back and come oh so close to his arse without touching it. 

Harry grins at Niall as he rearranges his body in Niall's lap. He ends up with both long legs straddling Niall and his arse resting comfortably on Niall's thighs. He cups Niall's cheek with one hand, the other moving behind Niall to cup his neck, then he leans down and pecks Niall's lips lightly, his eyes remaining open the whole time and staring into Niall's. He pulls back a little and tilts his head a bit before moving in again for another peck, this time leaving their lips attached for five seconds. When he pulls back the second time, he tilts his head the other way and pecks Niall's lips again, this time holding it for seven or eight seconds. Again he pulls back, his eyes still never leaving Niall's and before he can move in for a third time he catches the amused glint in Niall's eyes and breaks into a wide grin, unable to contain himself.

“Cheeky,” Niall murmurs against Harry's lips. They're trying to kiss again but both are smiling which only leads to teeth clicking together and then Niall is starting to laugh and it's the beginning of one of his long, infectious laughs. Harry can tell because it's starting out low and slow but he knows Niall better than he knows himself and he knows he's got about two seconds to stop him from laughing before he throws his head back and starts full on laughing loudly. 

“I love you,” Harry says, his face turning serious “I love you.”

It works. Niall's laugh stops abruptly and his hands press into Harry's hips where they were resting “Christ. Harry...”

Harry stops him from saying anything more by kissing Niall again, this time closing his eyes and slotting their lips perfectly together like they've always been able to do. His top lip fits perfectly in the seam of Niall's lips which allows him to kiss Niall's bottom lip before sucking it gently and softly dragging his teeth over it. Niall lets out a sigh and immediately opens up to Harry, poking his tongue out just enough to meet Harry's as Harry's enters into his warm mouth. 

The kiss is slow and relaxed at first. Harry presses his body as close to Niall's as he can while moving his tongue at a leisurely pace in and out of Niall's mouth. Niall lets him. He loves when Harry kisses him so sweet and tender like this, relishes in every flick or stroke of Harry's tongue against his own. He could spend hours kissing Harry he thinks. Until he can't breathe anymore and his lips are so bruised they feel like they're about to fall off. 

The kiss continues this way until Niall moves his hands up underneath Harry's shirt and strokes the skin just above his hips with his fingers. The skin to skin contact seems to spark something in Harry and soon he's gripping the hair at the nape of Niall's neck and tilting Niall's head back further so he can kiss him faster and deeper. 

Niall moans into Harry's mouth, his hands moving up Harry's back as their tongues speed up and fight for dominance in the others mouth. The noise sparks something primal in Harry, making him growl low in his throat and pull his lips off Niall's to nip at his jaw with his teeth.

“Want you so bad Niall,” Harry whispers as his lips nip a path up Niall's jaw, right to his ear where he bites teasingly at the lobe “I need you. Right now.”

A strangled noise leaves Niall's mouth and his hands slide back down Harry's back until they're gripping Harry's arse and pushing him forward to rub their cocks together through their clothes. 

“Get me upstairs then yeah?” Niall whispers back, his lips sucking at Harry's shoulder where it meets his neck.

“Nooo,” Harry whines “Too far. Want you right here. Get you naked right here and show you how much I love you.”

“Harry,” Niall starts but moans when Harry's lips move down to his neck where he starts sucking a love bite “Babe, Christ Harry, not here. We need- we need lube. Condoms and lube.”

Harry groans against Niall's neck and pulls back just enough to glare at Niall “You should have that stuff here, hidden under the couch cushions or something.”

Niall snorts as he pushes against Harry's chest to make him slide off his lap “Me mudder sits here Harry. Can you imagine her deciding to hoover between the cushions when she has one of her cleaning frenzies and gettin' a condom or a bottle of lube stuck in the nozzle?”

“Ummm,” Harry looks like he's seriously thinking about it as he stands up and puts his hand out for Niall to take so he can pull him up “I think your mum would give us a lecture about not having sex where guests sit. Your dad however, his reaction would be priceless.”

Niall barks out a loud laugh as he leads Harry by the hand up the stairs to his bedroom “Yeah well, me Da is where I get me dirty mind innit?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Harry murmurs against the back of Niall's neck as he walks very close behind him with his arms around him once they reach the top of the stairs “I love your dirty mind and mouth. Should thank him next time I see him.”

“You already did babe. Last Christmas when you got drunk on eggnog. Me Da probably learned a bit more about our sex life than he wanted to know. Me Granny too. You're so lucky she's just as bad as me Da or you might've been banned from the Horan household for life.” Niall is full on laughing now at the memory of it all and the horrified look on Harry's face when Niall had told him all about it once they'd left to come home for London.

“Fuck,” Harry giggles into the back of Niall's neck “I forgot that. Never drinking eggnog again.”

“To be fair,” Niall says as he pulls away from Harry to enter into his bedroom and throw all the junk from his bed onto the floor leaving just the sheets on the bed “The Horan's make their eggnog pretty strong, a lightweight like you didn't stand a chance.”

“Yes that's true, so very true, now get your clothes off so I can have my way with you.” Harry practically growls and reaches forward for the hem of Niall's shirt. 

Niall laughs at Harry's eagerness but quickly pulls his shirt off over his head and pushes his loose pajama bottoms down his legs, leaving him only in his pants. When he looked back up at Harry's face he found Harry staring at him with hooded eyes and so much want it actually made him blush. 

Harry begins working on his own clothes, his eyes never leaving Niall's, the look he's giving him making his dick fatten up in his pants. When he's finished and completely naked, he pushes Niall back onto the bed and helps him slide up until his head is resting on the pillows then he climbs onto the bed himself, crawling up and over Niall's body like a tiger stalking it's prey. 

“You're gorgeous you know,” Harry breathes out then dips his head to place a kiss on the skin of Niall's stomach, right above the elastic of his boxers where his happy trail is. He works his way up Niall's stomach leaving kisses and nips of his teeth in his wake until he stops at Niall's collarbone and gets to work sucking and biting a large love bite into his skin. 

“Fuck,” Niall whispers out then sucks in a deep breath through his nose and lets it out slowly when Harry licks over the bite with his tongue “That feels incredible babe.”

“Mmhmm,” Harry hums into the skin of Niall's neck “You're incredible.” He says, then lifts his face from Niall's neck and looks into his gorgeous blue eyes “All I've ever wanted is you. Never wanted anything else but you. Your eyes, your nose, your lips, your mouth, your hands, your cock because lets face it, it's a really nice cock. Fits in my mouth so perfectly. Never, ever want another cock in my mouth but yours, only yours.”

“Fuck...holy fuck,” Niall curses then lifts his legs out from under Harry, wrapping them around his waist and trying to pull him down to rub their cocks together.

“You like that don't you?” Harry smiles at him and allows Niall's legs to bring his lower body down closer “You like knowing your cock is the only one I've ever had, don't you? The only one I'll ever have if I have my way.”

Niall's eyes flutter shut and he sinks his head back into the pillow, moaning as Harry's cock presses against his own fully hard cock in his pants “Yeah...yes Harry. Yes, yes, yes.”

“Love seeing you like this,” Harry murmurs, one hand moving all along Niall's side from his hip up to his armpit and over across his chest and into all that chest hair “The way your body still reacts to mine after all this time together. How you squirm beneath me and call out my name just from one touch of my fingers, one press of my lips against your skin. How could I ever want anymore than that? How could I ever want anyone else when I have you? So beautiful and so ready for me. All. Night. Long.”

Oh my god Niall was going to lose it. He was going to come in his pants like he was thirteen years old again, and all from a bit of rutting and Harry's deep, slow voice. Niall loved it though. Loved when Harry took control like this and talked dirty to him. It might surprise some people because Niall was the smaller one but it was usually him that took control in their sex life. Harry liked it that way. He always said it was because Niall was as loud and wild in the bedroom as he was in his everyday life, maybe even more so and that was a huge turn on for Harry. 

Harry runs his long fingers up and down Niall's chest, his fingers playing with his chest hair, his nails dull as they press against Niall's skin “I want to give you anything you want Niall. Whatever you want, right now. I want to show you how much I still want you. Want to show you how sorry I am for the stupidity and misunderstandings that made you hurt inside. Tell me what I can do love. Tell me what you want.”

“Harry,” Niall practically whimpers. His hands leave Harry's toned and muscular back and sink into his hair, threading his fingers through it and pushing it back from his face “You don't have to prove anything to me. Not ever. You know I never doubted you, not really.”

Harry's eyes close and he practically purrs as Niall's fingers continue to move through his hair “I know. I know you didn't, not really but my actions left you upset enough that fear took over and sent your mind off in all different directions. I- I want to make up for that. Please let me.”

Niall gulps, his body thrumming with energy and so much want and need for Harry “I want...I want you to keep doing what you were doing.”

Harry opens his eyes and stares down at Niall for a moment, taking in what Niall assumes is the desire that must be showing on his face. He tilts his head a fraction to the side then a slow, lazy grin appears on his face and he sits up so that he's straddling Niall's thighs “You liked me talking about your cock did you? Liked how I talked about it being a perfect fit for my mouth? Shall I show you then? Get you out of these pants so I can get my mouth around your pretty cock?”

Niall's pretty sure his whole body blushes at Harry's words, can feel the heat creeping up his chest and into his cheeks. Harry's voice was sinful. He could make a whole album of just dirty talk and it would sell millions. He'd have men and women listening to it in their cars and coming in their pants, it was that sinful and it was all Niall's. The way Harry was speaking right now was all for Niall. Nobody else gets to hear him like this and fuck-fuck Niall's never thought about this before. He's been with Harry for three and a half years and yet it never came to mind that everything sinful about Harry was all for him. 

“Oh fuck,” Niall cries out, his thoughts making his dick even harder in his pants, the precome starting to leak out in globs and make the front of his pants wet.

Harry licks his lips and hooks his fingers in the waistband, climbing off Niall long enough to haul the pants completely off Niall and throw them off to the side somewhere. When he climbs back over Niall's thighs, one of his large hands wraps around Niall's cock, his thumb rubbing over the slit and collecting some of that precome to slide down all the way to the base.

“You really liked that didn't you? Me talking about getting my mouth on your cock? Made you get so wet for me. Can't wait to get my mouth on you now. Get a taste of all that lovely come slicked over your cock.” Harry says in a low voice then he inches forward, his eyes never leaving Niall's as he flicks his tongue out and leaves kitten licks over the head of Niall's cock. 

Niall cries out, his hips bucking up, trying to get his cock in Harry's mouth. He's desperate for it, needs Harry so much. Harry seems to sense it, sense the urgency and gives up with the teasing, taking half of Niall's cock into his mouth in one go. 

“Yes,” Niall hisses out, his fingers tangling tightly in Harry's hair as Harry sucks down his cock, bobbing his head at a good pace “Oh fuck. Harry. Harry, Harry, Harry.”

Harry lifts off Niall's cock with a popping sound, his free hand stroking across Niall's hip “Feel good baby? Gettin' you all worked up? Keeping you nice and hard so I can ride you. Would you like that? Want me to ride you?”

Niall can't talk, simply nods his head vigorously against the pillow and reluctantly releases his hands from Harry's hair so that he can get up from the bed long enough to grab lube and a condom from the bedside table. Once he's got what he needs, he settles back in on top of Niall, this time perched on his knees allowing Niall a perfect view of his slicked up fingers disappearing behind his balls and into his hole to stretch himself for Niall's cock. 

“How's that baby?” Harry asks, his voice hitching just a little as he quickly fingers himself open “Do you like watching me get ready for you? You do don't you? Only ever done this for you baby, only for you. It's just for me and you. So intimate yeah? Couldn't stand it if anyone else saw me like this. I'm yours Niall, only yours.”

Niall whimpers at Harry's words. He never thought he was a possessive person but having Harry remind him over and over again, in that sinful voice of his, that Niall's the only man, the only person, that Harry's ever been with, makes him so fucking crazy and proud all at the same time. He fucking loves that nobody but him has seen Harry this way and to hear that that's how Harry wants to keep it? Forever? It makes Niall want to come then and there, without being touched one bit. 

“Harry, Harry, god I need you. Your fucking voice Harry, your fucking mouth. I'm not gonna last too long. I need to get inside you. Fuck I need it so bad.” Niall's babbling now but he doesn't care. He's confident that Harry will understand him. He always does. 

“Yeah love, yeah.” Harry moans out as he fucks his own fingers at a rapid pace “M'all ready for you. All opened up for you. Can't wait to feel you inside me. Love it so much.”

Niall's panting now and his dick is hard and throbbing where it rests against his stomach. Harry, his gorgeous, sexy Harry, was kneeling above him, fucking himself open with his fingers. It's obscene really, so fucking hot, but he's also beautiful. So beautiful it makes Niall's heart ache and briefly wonder what God Niall has to thank for putting Harry in his life and making Harry fall in love with him when Harry could literally have any man or woman he wanted. 

Niall is brought out of his thoughts when Harry leans over and kisses him, tongue slipping into his mouth and brushing against Niall's sensually. Niall kisses him back eagerly while his hand brushes over the bed sheets in search of the condom Harry had put there. When he finds it he rips it open and pulls away from Harry's lips, motioning for Harry to scootch back a little so Niall can reach his dick. He makes quick work of putting the condom on then Harry's hands are there, slicking him up with lube and pumping his dick slowly to make sure it's still good and hard for him. 

“You look so good baby,” Harry murmurs as he moves his body around to get in the perfect position. Once he's hovering above Niall's dick, he takes it in one hand and guides himself down slowly until Niall is completely inside him and Harry is moaning at the feeling of being so full “I think-ah-I think riding you is definitely one of my favorite things to do.”

Niall lets out a breathy laugh, guiding his hands to rest on Harry's hips then bucking his hips up at a slow pace, urging Harry to start moving “Well I think it's one of my favorite things to have you do. Honest to fuck Harry, you look-incredible. So, so incredible.”

“Yeah?” Harry smiles sweetly down at him, always completely eating up any compliment Niall gives him. You'd think he'd be used to it by now, since Niall compliments him constantly but he still gets that same look of wonder on his face as if he can't believe Niall is talking about him and the fact that Harry really has no idea how perfect he is only makes Niall more mad for him. 

“Yeah Harry, god yeah. Come on baby, move for me yeah? I'm not gonna last long thanks to your filthy mouth.” Niall moans. 

Harry grins down at him and licks his lips as he starts rocking back and forth on Niall's dick. He keeps it up until a few low whines and moans leave Niall's lips, then once he's completely comfortable and has his bearings, he lifts himself up then slams back down, making Niall's eyes go wide before they roll back in his head.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck. Shit, shit, shit.” Niall curses “Yes baby, just like that. Do it again. Please, again.”

So Harry does. He places his palms flat on Niall's chest, his fingers curling in Niall's chest hair, then lifts himself up again before slamming back down, clenching around Niall and letting him feel his tight, warm heat with every inch of his dick “That good baby? That what you wanted?”

“Fucking yes!” Niall cries out, his hands moving from Harry's hips and around to his arse, his fingers digging in hard against Harry's flesh.

Harry groans, absolutely loving the way Niall grips his arse, how his cheeks spread apart and let Niall's dick move in and out easier. He picks up the pace again, bouncing up and down a little bit faster then leaning over so he can get his mouth on Niall's. They kiss filthily, tongues sliding against tongues, moans disappearing into one another's mouth. It's hot, it's so hot. The room filled with nothing but skin slapping against skin and Harry and Niall's moaning.

“Oh god, oh fuck,” Niall gasps into Harry's mouth, his hips starting to move up and down off the bed to match Harry's pace “I need- I- faster. Faster Harry.”

“Yeah. Fuck yeah.” Harry breaths against Niall's mouth as he picks up the pace. They're still trying to kiss but they're panting and moaning so hard that they're really just breathing into each other's mouths. 

They continue like that for awhile, Harry's hips snapping back and forth, and up and down, at a quick pace while Niall matches him with every thrust up off the bed. Eventually Niall can feel Harry's legs start to quiver and he knows the brutal pace is tiring Harry out, no matter how fit he is.

“I got you baby. I got you.” Niall says into Harry's mouth, then with a biting kiss to Harry's bottom lip he grabs a hold of Harry's body tightly and rolls them over so that he's on top “I'm gonna make you come so hard babe. So hard, just the way you like it.”

“Please!” Is all Harry manages to get out before he gasps loudly as Niall changes the angle and hits him in exactly the right spot. He's relentless once he's found the spot and he uses every once of energy he has left to pound Harry into the mattress while he strokes him furiously with his hand. Harry comes with a shout, his fingers digging into Niall's back so hard they'll for sure leave angry red marks come the morning. 

Niall continues to thrust, chasing his own release, his eyes never leaving Harry's face as he watches his boyfriend come apart underneath him from his orgasm. Niall's never seen anything quite like it. Harry is completely vulnerable beneath him and has been many times before but it never gets old for Niall. He could watch Harry like this all day, hopes to watch him like this for the rest of their lives. 

When Harry's orgasm has finished and left him sated and blissed out below Niall, he opens his shimmering green eyes and smiles lazily up at Niall. Niall's breath hitches and his hips stutter as his orgasm hits him at full force, a choked sob leaving his lips as wave after wave of pleasure washes over him. He continues moving his hips until his orgasm is completely finished, then Harry's hands are falling away from his back as he slowly pulls out and flops down next to Harry on his back.

It's at least five minutes later when Niall's breathing finally evens out and he rolls over slightly to kiss Harry's shoulder before telling him he'll be right back and going into the ensuite to grab a wet washcloth to clean them up. He quickly cleans the sweat and come from his body then rinses out the cloth before he goes back into the bedroom to tend to Harry. When he enters the room, Harry is still laying on his back with that lazy smile on his face and Niall can't help but look at him fondly.

“Alright?” He asked quietly as he crawled onto his knees on the bed and gently cleaned Harry's body with the cloth.

“More than,” Harry answers him, his hands coming up off the bed to make grabby hands at Niall “Lay down with me.”

Niall smiles and throws the dirty cloth in the vicinity of the bathroom then straightens out on the bed so he's curled up against Harry's warm body “I'm sorry I lost me mind.”

Harry half snorts then kisses Niall's temple “What?”

“I lost me mind Harry. Fear and paranoia took over and I went with it instead of shaking it off. It'll never happen again. I promise.” Niall vows.

“Okay,” Harry kisses Niall's temple again then everything is quiet for awhile before Harry starts giggling.

“What?” Niall props himself up on his elbow to look at Harry in amusement.

“I was just- do you remember the first time we ever had sex?” Harry asks with a huge grin on his face.

Niall groans and covers his face “Course I remember. It was a bit of a disaster wasn't it? Both of us virgins and only having porn to go by.”

“Yeah,” Harry agrees “But I wouldn't change a thing. We were able to laugh about it and when we tried again it was better. Then we kept trying and three and a half years later, after lots and lots of practice, I'm convinced there's nobody in the world who could possibly have a better sex life than us.”

“It is pretty hot,” Niall admits with a wide grin.

“I really love that I'm the only person you've ever been with too. It makes me feel pretty damn special Niall. You know what else makes me feel special? There's a side of you that nobody else has ever seen but me. Even I didn't see it at first but as we got closer and closer it came out and it didn't take me long to figure out that I didn't see it before because it's only for me.” Harry's eyes are bright as he talks to Niall.

“What are you talking about?” Niall has a look of confusion on his face as he brushes some of Harry's hair from his forehead.

 

“I'm talking about your sappy side,” Harry says with a cheeky smile “You were far from sappy when I met you and still now, nobody sees that side of you but me. You completely let your guard down around me. You really don't know how that makes me feel Niall. I can't even describe it.” 

“It's your fault that I'm sappy,” Niall scoffs “You're the biggest sap in the world and it rubs off on me.”

“I think it was always there, you just never felt safe enough to bring it out. I'm really glad you feel safe with me. Someday, we're going to have kids Niall, and you're going to be wrapped around their fingers and I can't wait. I'm so excited.” Harry gushes. 

“You're probably right. I do feel safe with you. Always have.” Niall admits “Hey Harry? How many bedrooms are in that LA house?”

Harry furrows his brow as he turns his head on the pillow to look at Niall “There's not a set number. There's a ton of rooms, some will be strictly bedrooms but others can be used for something else and then converted into a bedroom if needed. Why?”

Niall hums and inches forward to kiss Harry lightly on the lips “I want six.”

“What?” Harry looks confused “You want six bedrooms?”

“No. We'll need more bedrooms than that.” Niall says, coyly.

Harry huffs and moves his hand, that was resting on Niall's hip, down lower and slaps him on the arse “Then what do you want six of?”

“Are you getting kinky with me right now Styles?” Niall gasps, giving Harry his best 'Louis looking scandalized 'look.

“Niaaaallllll,” Harry whines “Don't tease me right now. S'not the good kind of teasing.”  
Niall barks out a laugh and somehow manages to push his body even closer to Harry's than it already was. He's practically painted onto Harry's side with one of his legs slotted perfectly in between both of Harry's “Kids Harry. Six kids.”

Niall rests his chin on Harry's chest as he watches his boyfriends mouth form a perfect oh shape “Six...oh my god, do you mean that?”

“I mean it. Whenever I'd let meself daydream about what our life could be in the future, it's with six kids. Maybe even more, who knows? Six for sure though.” Niall nods with certainty.

Harry still looks in shock and Niall stares up at him with an amused but fond look on his face. “Niall. Niall. That's- fuck that sounds so amazing. Six...six babies. Niall we're gonna have six little babies.”

Niall grins widely at his boyfriend as his green eyes begin to fill with moisture. He reaches up to cup his cheek, lightly rubbing his thumb over Harry's cheekbone “Someday baby. We've still got a long way to go before that happens. Probably be a good idea to not be on the road for eight months a year yeah?”

Harry sniffs and swallows a few times, a small smile appearing on his face “Yeah, I know. We've got lots of time. We can talk about it now though. Now that we know we're on the same page. We can plan for the future.”

Niall removes his hand from Harry's cheek and plants it on the bed on the other side of Harry's head then lifts his body over Harry's so that he's straddling him. He trails three feather light kisses across Harry's chest then sits back up enough so that he can look into Harry's eyes. “In the meantime, why don't we take advantage of the alone time we have right now and practice how we can keep you quiet for when we do have those six little ones?”

Harry's eyes widen as he looks up at Niall, mouth agape “So we're getting kinky after all?”

Niall looks down at Harry with a liscivious grin on his face “Whatever it takes right?”

A slow smile curves across Harry's lips as he reaches a hand up behind Niall's neck to pull him down into a kiss “Whatever it takes.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you everyone for reading!! I hope you enjoyed. I've been thinking about a one shot that's set in the future, a glimpse into Narry's life to see if they ever did have those six babies! And what other surprises may have occurred as they build their life together. If anyone is interested, let me know, or should I just leave this how it is?


End file.
